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Raven_Avenger
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Name: Vivi
Birthday: 7/24/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: Sleeping (A LOT), All the other good stuff other people are interested in, stuff all the other good people are Not interested in, Other bits and pieces you can ask me yourself =)
Expertise: Planning ahead so far that most people can't keep up,
Arguing for the sake of arguing. Becasue I always win some way or another =3, Acting conceited, Lying (don't ask about what; it's a long ass story), Getting things done (when I want), Being stupid or smart (when I want), Doing anything I want (When i want), Get it??
Occupation: Rebel~~~~
Industry: MOCKERY!~~~~
Message: message me
AIM:  IamAssassinGrl
MSN: Music_Fanatic13@hotmail.com
Member Since:
7/30/2004
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| It's 11:20PM on a tuesday night.
i did bad on my physics test today.
I'm staying up super late to study for my anatomy exam tomorrow.
I'm hating the ppl next door and upstairs becuz they're so FUCKING LOUD!
If i fail outta this school I will just save myself the stress and just DIE.
I feel bad to have wasted so much money but seriously, I'm getting tired of dealing with all this shit.
Yes, I'm very moody right now because I have a test in less that 12 hours and I'm not going to do well!
AND THE PPL NXT DOOR Are SO FUCKING LOUD...
I'm just stressed.
I think I'm acting OK but underneath I'm just this giant ball of StreSS
Worrying about making the GPA cut
Getting a job when i graduate
making money
maybe i really should have just died in middle school or high school
I'm sure some ppl will be sad.
they'll get over it someday
yea i know other ppl are just as worried as me
well they aren't here right now with me in my room
I'm on break now.
Panic attks are so much fun no?
I wish the ppl nxt door would just SHUt UP
I hope and pray these ppl will hurry and fail out ;]
Cuz i 'm pretty sure i don't want any of them to be future doctor or pharmacist.
Srsly, a lot of ppl i see around here, i would hope NEVEr to be my doctor or pharmacist or therapist or sugeon.
Die kids die
Or I can die first.
Whichever works.
I'm stressed......
like a lot....
I just want to sleep for 3 days straight and not have to worry about a thing.
maybe it'll happen soon...If I don't make anatomy stick in my head, i'll see you at my funeral.
I'll either die from downing a whole 5 bottles of tylenol or I'll cut myself to death.
I think i need some caffiene...
I'll come back wen i feel more sane....
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| Everyone is scared to die.
Am i the only one curious about it?
I want to know what comes after you die.
I want to KNOW.
This world bores me.
I am odd.
I've learned to hide it well.
i am normal. I look normal.
i act perfectly. normal.
i have problems.
everyone has problems.
some don't seem that bad compared to others.
but we all have problems.
I have problems that will not go away.
I like lying to myself.
It makes me feel better.
I almost believe it.
Because i want to know what it's like to be normal.
what's so great about normal anyway?
It's not as painful when you're just normal.
What is normal?
I know all the questions.
I know all the right answers.
I know exactly what to say to make me seem perfect.
This world is boring.
This game is boring.
Why is there no one to play with?
I can't even bring myself to hope anymore.
Every time I even get a hint of liking.
I make sure to extinguish.
Everything is frozen solid.
Just a block of nothing.
I've gotten better at this game.
I can even cry on cue now.
I can laugh on cue.
I'm tired of this world.
Nothing human amuses me anymore.
I've seen it all.
I've heard it all.
It isn't that great.
This world has died.
We are living on top of it's grave.
And people are defiling it.
I wish I could see when the humans all die.
I would be happy. Gleeful.
I had a dream about it many times.
All end in human misery.
I know what love is.
I can pretend to love.
I am not stupid.
But I have never fallen in love.
No one is worth it.
I sound mighty superior using those words.
I am not superior.
I just don't understand people.
The things they do.
The things they say.
But i really don't want to know.
They are stupid.
It's too hard to explain why people tick me off.
It is a problem.
That will never be solved.
Everyone seems so blind.
Perhaps it is just I.
Feeling alone in this world.
Hoping a futile hope.
Wishing an impossible wish.
What do I want?
I don't even know anymore.
Nothing can solve it.
Grow up.
Sure I can grow up.
When everything dies.
Why here?
Why did I have to be born here?
This world is boring.
Amuse me you stupid fools.
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| I finished my first 2 semesters of college...successfully i hope ><
Now my newest dilemma amoung a sea of them is to : GET A JOB. in pharmacy...
Now i don't HAVE to mind you. I just wanted money and I thought the added experience would be a bonus.
I just said it on the fly to my mother and a few days later she's ALL FREAKING OVER MY CASE!!!! >;(
I mean wtf? She's acting as if I don't go there RIGHT NOW and find myself a job I'm going to NEVER EVER have a job. -_-
My definition of my job would be: working at giant pharmacy or rite aid pharmacy a nice walk across the street from my house.
Hell no I won't do volunteer work and hell no I'm not driving to a hospital. It's only my first year! ;O
GEEZ, that woman needs to chill out...
Well, if it's a nice sunny day tomorrow then I'm going to walk over to the giant and ask about pharm tech positions~
If it's still raining..we'll wait another week~ whatever~
Things to Buy:
summer clothes?
SATA hard drive (like seriously)
mascara
hairbands
books
etc~
I don't really have much to buy at the moment~
Good thing because I don't have money ;P
And bro took the ps2 to his dorm. Was sooooooo pissed.
He acts like the thing is his. It's half mine >;(
I'm ready to sell his games on ebay or something if he's not careful...>_>
he threatens to kill me all the time...i swear to god I'm going to give him a thrashing one of these days....-_-
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| These days, whenever I have time to spare( or no time but my mind wanders anyways), I usually start thinking about old friends. Well, I do this often but lately it's been pretty constant.
An by old friends I mean friends that are like 5+ years old that I haven't heard a peep out of in years.
Why?
I have absolutely no frickin' clue.
-_-
I just really miss them....
Some of them were my friends when I was my most screwed up.
The cheered me up. They made me smile.
I'm kinda like the retard that can't learn her lesson.
They're gone and they aren't coming back.
Why can't I just take that and move on?
They probably never cared. I was just a messed up kid they humored.
Why can't I believe it and let go?
Because I'm too curious for my own good?
Why can't I save myself the depression trip and just forget them too?
Why can't my awesomely obesely long memory chains about the stupidest details be put to use on better things like BIO??? o.o
I want to stop remembering.
These memories I don't want anymore.
What good are they to me?
Missing people that don't exist anymore.
I don't even remember half their names.
I don't remember what they looked like.
I don't even remember their personalities.
I just remember feeling happy.
I remember smiling on a sad day.
I remember that I had special moments with them even though I don't remember what the special moment was.
I should convince myself they are stupid.
They never cared. Behind the computer screen they probably laughed at me.
They were probably sad excuses for humans that were butt ugly to look at.
I tell myself this.
And yet strangely, I don't care.
I still want to talk to them once more.
Reunion wishes.
Me, the person who despises stupid people and can't stand to be within a 5 mile radius of people like that, wants to talk to these people that have long forgotten me.
I MUST be going insane (again).
Maybe it's because I feel bad.
I remember a few times people have contacted me and I don't have a clue who they are.
They clearly remember me but I have no clue who they are or what they are.
Heck, I do that to people I only met days ago.
What kind of screwed up memory do I have?
I remember small details about people from years ago but I can't remember a name from a mere day ago.
Thanks brain, you sure are useful...
Then I remember. The very true motto: You always want what you can't have.
So true.
I'd recite a very famous poem by a very famous poet here but I'll save you that.
Most of you wouldn't understand it anyways.
Anyways, perhaps I've realized that these friends aren't coming back to me.
I can't have them back so I want them back.
Sounds reasonable.
It's like wanting an ex-boyfriend back.
You don't Really want him back. You don't really like him anymore.
But since you don't have him anymore, you want him back.
If you happen to get him back, you don't want him again after a while.
How scary a human being is.
Especially girls. They scare the crap out of me.
Some girls are downright nasty mean.
They do the stupidest things sometimes for their own deranged reasons.
It's scarier than stupid guys. They are simple and do stupid simple things.
The end result is from lack of thinking.
Girls over-think and over-analyze.
Then the crazy girls sometimes act upon it and do the most demented things.
Well, I'm a girl but I definitely am not scary in that aspect.
I hope I never become a girl like that.
I see how some girls treat their boyfriends.
I feel bad for the boyfriends sometimes.
Especially V-day. Girls sure know how to be nasty.
I'm even more surprised that the guys take all that abuse.
I don't even know what to call it.
Either I' missing a very big picture or a lot of people out there are incredibly stupid.
For now, let's say the senile Vivi is in the right.
Vivi still does not understand these things.
Vivi doesn't need these things.
Vivi thinks you're all stupid.
Vivi is the genius in this aspect.
At the end of the day, I really wonder if I've learned anything these years that have gone by...
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| GradeS?As of today:
Math: very low B-...><
Chem: A
Bio: C+? B-? Either way, it''s baddddd
Eng: A-
Soci: no idea...A? B? C?
Bio Lab: A?
Chem Lab: A-?
Need to:
Find out my soci grade
Bring up my math grade BAD
Get Bio to a B
Keep Chem up there
Keep Eng up there
Not fail my Bio lab practical
Not fail my chem lab practical
I'm tired...-_-
I miss Duke....
I'm hungry...
Chem is boring....
I need a job....
Summer classes are definite....
I'm so screwed ;P
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